Being Highly Sensitive

Are you one of those who feel disconnected from the society in general? Do you have difficulty fitting into any group? You are uncomfortable around bright light, loud noise and bright flashy colours. No one understands your need to be alone. You seem to know things without being told… And all your life you thought something was wrong with you!

The good news is that you are not dysfunctional. You are a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) - there is actually a term for it! And you are not alone; you share this attribute with at least 20% of the people who are referred to as shy or touchy or introvert etc.

A highly sensitive infant is more peaceful when alone. Certain people terrify them, toy mobiles upset them, rocking irritates them and weather/environment changes make them restless. They may be colicky and their digestive systems may not tolerate all foods. But these babies are very creative and alert. They may walk and speak early.

HSPs respond strongly to their environment and become exhausted from taking in and processing the external stimuli. They are born with a sensitive nervous system and sensory organs that may see, smell, taste, hear or feel more keenly than others. As adults, they may also think, reflect or notice more than others. The processing is largely unconscious. HSPs grow up thinking that they are flawed, especially when crowds of people, loud music or simply a busy day stresses them out. At such times, they need quiet time alone to recover.

HSPs are not known for being impulsive or reckless. In fact, they may be over cautious at times. They foresee the consequences of words and actions. Any kind of change is difficult for them to accept. They feel happy in their hearts on a joyous occasion but are often unable to express their feelings. Since they try to hide themselves, they are seen as inhibited or unsocial. HSPs do not like social gatherings and prefer having intense one-to-one conversations. Developing boundaries for safety and comfort is important to them. They would actually prefer a walk in the park to watching a cricket/tennis match!

An HSP's tendency towards withdrawal may present unique difficulties in their relationships. They turn inwards for protection against what they are experiencing. A lack of self-esteem can turn them into people-pleasers and they can end up feeling lonely in the relationship. Their ability to pick up subtle cues and ambivalence in the unconscious processes of the other person, can affect their own communication in the relationship. Many times, even though they understand what is going on, they are unable to express it and end up blurting out something negative. At these times, they are acting out their own insecurities and past experiences of being humiliated for their sensitivity. The way out of this dilemma for them is to become more conscious of their own habitual reactions and to take more time out to be alone.

HSPs appreciate friendship and like to talk about their feelings, but often believe no one else is interested. An open and sharing relationship – preferably with another HSP – can be of great benefit in providing understanding of what does and doesn’t work. Entertainment and excitement are not what holds a sensitive relationship together – HSPs are more interested in deepening their self-awareness and never get bored of listening to their partner’s dreams.

Not surprisingly, HSPs are also very sensitive to food. Stimulants like alcohol and caffeine are toxic for their sensitive systems. But then, there are no special diets for them either, as their levels of sensitivity are anything but static! The HSPs have to understand the fascinating refining process continually being experienced by their own body/mind/soul and observe for themselves what suits them best.

Once the HSPs stop trying to be like the strong and tough extroverts, they often develop a keen interest in and gratitude for their own consciousness, which benevolently takes them into unexplored realms. These complex inner realms, largely avoided or ignored by others, become the individual paths for these people to wholeness and happiness.

Existence/Nature/God has a way out for everyone…